i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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