I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
