So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have aggressive nipples.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize