my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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