The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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