she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
