This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
