My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How external is "for external use only"?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
