idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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