shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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