The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
