Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize