Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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