We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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