Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
