If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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