Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
