Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize