I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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