So drunk its hurt
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
