Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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