I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
