Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
50% drunk capacity currently
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
