i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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