I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
