saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
