A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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