I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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