Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
