Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
