Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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