I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
