At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
