so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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