Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
