Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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