I cockslap morals
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
