He is like the real live version of the state fair..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
