if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize