I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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