I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
