I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What drink are we having for lunch?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
