I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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