everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
