so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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