So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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