That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
