clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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