I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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