I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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