Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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