Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
