so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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