clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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