Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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