Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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