At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
